literature

Appeasement for our new masters

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Literature Text

It is late in the year 2012, and the destructive plague that is humanity has been stopped. With his magnificent shiny buttons and exellent diligence and leadership, Major General Whiskers, or as he came to be known, our Purrfect Overlord, had done what war, illness, and the stupidity of humans themselves had failed to. The magnificent General Whiskers had changed the dominant species of the planet.
Humans survived, of course. They're as resiliant as the nefarious red dots they once cast in mockery of their noble masters. General Whiskers, being such a wise and intelligent leader, knew that it would be folly to try to exterminate such great minions, especially before The Cat Empire (coincidentally, also the name of their favorite band) had fully mastered can opener technology.
Putting the final touches on his magnificently crafted shredded sofa, General Whiskers called his attendant to his room. As the trembling human sat on the exposed springs of Whiskers' latest masterpiece, the proud kitty leapt up onto his lap to recieve a thorough stroking, because he was such a good kitty.
"You know, Herman, I believe I will have the salmon today," he mused, "followed by a nice mouse hunt. If you are very good and don't try to run away this time, I may even bring you a decapitated bird. No promises."
Herman did not reply, for he had learned to keep to the vow of silence in place in the presence of felines. Just as the mighty cat race had been forced to communicate in mews and meows in the last age, humans now had to keep their exchanges with their masters to gestures and monosyllabic sounds, barring the submission of art for their entertainment.
Once he was satisfied with the smoothness of his shining fur, Whiskers hopped to the ground, cueing his manservant to prepare his salmon. Twitching his whiskers, he made his way out to the balcony, both for sun and to address his loyal followers.
Curling up on the flat, widened railing around the porch, he looked out over his city. Cats were using humans for transportation, shopping (both for carrying and as currency), tools, and chefs. Yes, sparing this loyal and dextrous race had certainly been an excellent idea, as was promoting the most graceful and cat-like of them to positions of relative cushiness or even tiny quantities of power. Yes, General Whiskers was a wise, wise, pretty kitty, who made many great decisions, but none so great at the preservation of the capable servants that were the human race.
Later that day, Whiskers was served his salmon. It was delicious and expertly prepared because of the humans' vast knowledge of sauces and spices. The mouse hunt was also a great delight, because the mice had been genetically modified by the busy hands of humans to be extra juicy.
Major General Whiskers was pleased.
I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords. :iconmajorgeneralwhiskers:
Because our proud Major is quite busy taking over the world, I have opted to keep this post brief, yet effective.
© 2012 - 2024 Dante8411
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Mini-Umbrella's avatar
Cats as the dominant species? I like it XD